What Happens When Someone Dies Abroad
Picture a retired machinist named Walter. He is seventy-six, and for three years he has lived in a small town abroad, near his daughter Ruth. He has told her more than once where he wants to be buried: beside his wife, in the cemetery of the Ohio town where they raised their children. He bought that plot in 1988 for $450 and liked to call it the best deal he ever made.
Walter dies in March. It takes eleven days to bring him to that plot.
On the first morning, Ruth learns that the town will not release him without a stamped medical certificate. On the second day, she learns that the papers she needs in Ohio must be translated by a certified translator and stamped by the right office. On the third, she finds the one funeral home that can prepare him for travel the way an airline requires, in a sealed casket, with the permits attached. She calls the airline and learns which flights accept remains. Only one connection a week reaches the airport near Ohio.
Her brother flies in from Denver, waits five days, and has to fly home for work before the funeral can be held.
Each day, something she had never heard of arrives. She keeps a notebook, and by the eighth day it is full.
On the eleventh day, Walter reaches Ohio, and he is buried before sunset beside his wife.
At the grave, Ruth thinks about the receipt folded in her coat pocket. The plot cost $450 in 1988. Getting him to it cost $11,000. Her father would have asked for an itemized invoice and then complained about every line.
Nobody in this story did anything wrong. The paperwork each place asks for is reasonable in its own country. Nobody had put the pieces together in advance.
A family can ask a few questions long before they are needed, wherever they live. Where does each person want to rest? What papers might that place require, and in what language? Who holds the originals? Which funeral home at each end has done this before? Is the plot, or the arrangement, in writing?
If you plan to live in another country yourself, the same questions apply to you. They are easier to answer over dinner than in the second week of grief.
The calculator on this site shows the money for the living years. It does not cover the cost of a death abroad. We plan to write more about that here.
Where do the people you love want to rest, and does anyone in your family know? Tell us in the comments. Someone reading may need to ask that this week.
Tell us in the comments