When the Family Comes to Visit
Picture a couple named Fatima and Oscar who move abroad, and in their first year they have eleven visits. Children, siblings and old friends all say they will stay only a few days. Most stay two weeks.
It is the nicest part of the year and the most tiring. Fatima counts it up. Eleven visits come to 74 guest-nights. At about $60 a night in extra food, outings and laundry, that is $4,440. Oscar has missed his language class for six weeks, and the sofa has become a bed.
They do not want fewer visits. They want better ones.
They try a new way. They invite people for set dates: come for the second week of April, for ten days. They plan one big meal and one free day with nothing hosted. They tell each guest where the key is, which bus to take, where the market is, and that on Friday they all go out to dinner.
In the second year there are nine visits and 52 guest-nights, about $3,100. The guests are more at ease, because the plan is clear. Oscar goes back to his class.
Nobody in this is a problem. Guests arrive out of love, and hosts open the door out of love. What helps is saying the plan out loud.
In some families and cultures, a visit has no end date, and asking for dates can feel cold. Fatima says it warmly. We would love to have you for the first two weeks of April. Many guests are relieved to be told.
You could write a visiting plan before the first guest arrives. How many visits a year, the longest stay, the one free day, and what is included. You could add a line for the cost of guests to your monthly spending.
The level you pick in our calculator covers your own household only. It does not include the cost of visitors, so they are worth adding.
How do you host the people you love without losing yourself? Tell us in the comments. Someone reading may be expecting a first guest.
Tell us in the comments