When money comes to you
An inheritance, an insurance payment, a settlement, a gift, a prize, a divorce settlement, or what a spouse’s business was sold for. Nothing here assumes you know about money.
Sold a business instead? The other page is shorter.All the ways in
How you may feel
People describe the same five feelings, often in the same hour. All of them are normal. None of them needs a decision.
Relief
A debt, a leaking roof or a worry about the later years may suddenly be smaller. Relief is allowed, including when the money came because someone died. Relief and sadness can sit side by side.
Guilt
Some people feel they did not earn it, or that someone else needed it more. Some feel guilty for being glad. The feeling is common, and it says nothing about what is right to do with the money.
Fear
Fear of losing it, of being tricked, of one mistake that cannot be undone. A large new sum is a lot to hold, and fear is a reasonable reaction. It is a good reason to go slowly.
Excitement
Plans arrive quickly: a trip, a new kitchen, a gift for a grandchild. Writing the plans down is enough for now. A good plan is still a good plan next month.
Pressure to act
A relative, a friend or a caller may want an answer, and so may you. The pressure feels like a deadline. Nearly none of it is one. Step 3 lists the few dates that are real.
More than one can arrive at once, and they can change by the evening.
Stories that go with this step
How people keep it, and how they lose it
People have studied what happens after a large sum arrives. Most of the studies are about lottery prizes, because a prize goes to people chosen by chance, and researchers can compare winners with people who won little. Each one is described here with what it found and what it does not show.
People who won a prize
Hankins, Hoekstra and Skiba
What it found. In Florida, lottery winners of US$50,000 to US$150,000 were compared with winners of small prizes. The question was whether a large sum helps people who are struggling avoid bankruptcy. The large prize postponed bankruptcy. It did not prevent it.
What it does not show. It compares large winners with small winners. It is not a count of how many winners end in bankruptcy.
Imbens, Rubin and Sacerdote
What it found. Massachusetts lottery players in the mid-1980s. Winners of larger prizes worked fewer hours and earned less, more so between the ages of 55 and 65. They also spent more on cars and homes, and saved more.
What it does not show. It measures work, spending and saving. It does not follow whether the money lasted.
Cesarini, Lindqvist, Östling and Wallace
What it found. Swedish lottery players, followed in government records. Winning had little effect on the winners’ own health. For their children, most outcomes, such as school results and drug use, did not change. The children used more health care and may have had a lower risk of obesity.
What it does not show. It is about health and children. It does not report what the winners did with the money.
People who inherited
Holtz-Eakin, Joulfaian and Rosen
What it found. United States tax returns, before and after an inheritance. Single people who received more than US$150,000 were about four times as likely to leave the workforce as those who received less than US$25,000.
What it does not show. It is about work. Leaving work is not the same as losing money, and the study does not say whether people were glad of it.
Brown, Coile and Weisbenner
What it found. Receiving an inheritance was associated with a clear rise in the chance of retiring, more so when the inheritance was a surprise.
What it does not show. It does not say whether people were glad to retire, or whether the money lasted.
A 2026 study of heirs aged 50 and older reads differently from the headline that was written about it. The site’s own story reads it closely.
A prize is a surprise given by chance to a stranger. An inheritance usually comes with a loss. The two kinds of study describe different people, which is why they are side by side here.
What the five studies add up to
When a large sum arrives, people tend to work less. One study of bankruptcy found a delay. None of the five reports what share of people “lose it all”.
Two numbers you may have heard
“Seven in ten lottery winners lose it all within a few years.”
No research behind this number has been found. The National Endowment for Financial Education, a nonprofit whose name is often attached to it, wrote on January 12, 2018 that the statistic is “not backed by research from NEFE”, and that it cannot be confirmed by the organization. Tier A: the organization’s own statement.
“Seven in ten wealthy families lose their wealth by the second generation.”
No research that supports this number has been found. A family-wealth consultant, Jim Grubman, said in an article of the CFA Institute in February 2025 that it derives from a single flawed study from 1987. Tier B: a professional publication quoting one consultant.
A number with no study behind it describes no one in particular. It may be worth saying so out loud when a caller uses it.
Tier A is a primary source: a journal’s own abstract or an organization’s own statement. Tier B is a professional publication.
Stories that go with this step
Nothing to decide for the first weeks
Whether it is a few thousand dollars or a few million, the first weeks look alike: many calls, and very little that needs an answer. Almost nothing about the money needs to be decided this month.
Can wait
- Where to put the money.
- Which adviser, firm, fund or policy.
- Buying, selling or moving anything: a home, a car, shares.
- Big gifts, and loans to family or friends.
- Changes to your life: leaving a job, moving house.
- Opening an account at a new firm, and signing the papers that come with it.
Does not wait
- Bills with a due date. Rent or mortgage, utilities, insurance and taxes that are already due. Keeping them paid keeps everything in place.
- A house or flat that is now empty. Tell the insurer, change the locks and the alarm codes, and ask who has keys.
- Dates counted from a death. If the money came from a death, an estate with valuables has dates counted from the day of the death. In the United States, an estate tax return, when one is needed, is due 9 months after the death. An automatic extension of 6 months to file exists, and it does not extend the time to pay. The Executor Checklist works the dates out for the United States, United Kingdom, Canada and Australia.
- Valuables in the house. Photograph every room before anything moves. Hold off selling or handing out anything of marked value until it is listed and valued.
- Papers that came with the money. A settlement or an insurance payment may arrive with a release to sign or a tax form. Ask the sender in writing which dates are real.
Stories that go with this step
What you hold, in plain words
Writing down what you hold is the first piece of work, and it takes an afternoon. If everything was sold and turned into cash, the list may be one or two lines. That is a clear place to start.
- Cash
- Notes and coins, and the money in an everyday account that you can spend today.Where the statement is. Your bank’s monthly statement, or its app.
- A bank balance
- Money at a bank that earns interest: a savings account or a certificate of deposit. It comes back at the amount shown, and a certificate has a date.Where the statement is. The bank’s statement, or the certificate.
- A portfolio
- A list of shares, bonds and funds held at a firm. The value changes every day.Where the statement is. The firm’s monthly or quarterly statement.
- A house or other property
- Worth what a buyer would pay, which is known for certain only when it sells.Where the statement is. The last appraisal, the property tax bill, the purchase papers.
- A business, or a share in one
- Its value is an estimate until it sells, and two people may value it differently.Where the statement is. The accountant’s latest year-end statements, and the agreement between the owners.
- A pension
- A promise of monthly pay, or one lump sum. Some continue to a surviving partner and some stop.Where the statement is. The letter from the plan or the employer; its phone number is on it.
- Insurance
- Life insurance pays one sum to a named person. Other policies are bills that keep cover in place.Where the statement is. The policy document, and the insurer’s yearly letter.
- Things: art, jewelry, collections, a car
- A dealer, an insurer and an estate return may each give a different value to the same object.Where the statement is. Appraisal letters, receipts, the insurance schedule.
Your list
Fill in what you know and leave the rest. This list stays on this page. It is not sent anywhere, and it is gone when you close the page unless you print it or save it as a file.
Questions to ask anyone who calls, and signs in an offer
Someone who is sure of an offer is glad to answer these in writing. How a person takes the questions is also information.
- How are you paid?By a fee, by a commission, by a share of the money, or by a salary. Each pays the person to do something different.
- What do you hold of mine, and in whose name is it?Ask where the money sits and whose name is on the account.
- What will this cost me each year, in dollars?A percentage is easy to wave away. A dollar figure for a year is harder to ignore. Ask for the total of every fee.
- What happens if I say no, or if I wait?The answer shows whether the date is real or is only a sales date.
- Who else is involved, and who else is paid?A firm, a seller of a product, someone who made the introduction: each may take a share.
- Can I have that in writing?A written answer can be read twice, shown to a person you trust, and kept.
- What would you do if this were your own money?Some people answer plainly. Some change the subject. Either answer is information.
- How would I take the money out, how long would it take, and what would it cost?Some products lock money in for good reasons. The time and the fee are worth having in writing.
- Are you required to put my interest first when you recommend something?Ask for the answer in writing, with the name of the rule that applies.
What to look for in an offer
Most callers are doing a job. Many are paid when you buy, and that is the incentive; it is not a flaw in the person. Some offers are good. This list is for slowing down, not for hanging up.
Pressure
Someone hurries you, calls again and again, or says it is urgent.
What it usually means. The offer works better for the seller if you do not stop to think. A sound offer is still there next week.
A deadline
“This ends on Friday.”
What it usually means. The deadline is the seller’s. The dates that count are on government forms, and they are in step 3.
A promised return
A number is promised, with nothing written about what could go wrong.
What it usually means. A savings account or a bond states a rate and a date and says what is repaid. A high promise with no risk written beside it means the risk is somewhere you have not been shown.
A product you cannot sell
You are told the money cannot come out, or only after many years, or with a fee.
What it usually means. Some products lock money in for good reasons. Ask how long, and what the fee is in dollars.
Fees you cannot find
No page, no figure for the year in dollars.
What it usually means. Fees come out of your money every year. If they are hard to find, they are hard to compare.
A new account at a new firm
You are asked to move everything to a firm you have not used.
What it usually means. Moving can mean selling what you hold, and selling can have a tax cost. Ask what would be sold, and what it would cost, in dollars.
A request to move money fast
A wire, gift cards, cash handed over, or a transfer today.
What it usually means. Money sent this way is hard to bring back. A bank or a government office does not need it today. Call the number printed on your own statement.
A “special” offer for widows or heirs
An offer made to you because of what happened.
What it usually means. It is made because of the loss, not because of you. Notices of a death and court filings are public, and some callers read them.
Words for the people who call
You could say one of these, word for word. The number of days is yours to choose.
- “Thank you for calling. I do not make decisions about money for 90 days. Please send me something in writing.”
- “I do not discuss money on the phone. Please write to me.”
- “I talk to someone I trust before I decide anything. I will be in touch if I want to go further.”
- “Please take me off your list.”
Dates set by a court or a tax office are the exception. They are in step 3.
One person you trust
Tell one person that the money has arrived. Agree with that person that, before anything is signed, moved or sent, you tell them first. The person does not need to understand money, and does not get a vote. Saying it out loud to someone is the point.
A notebook by the phone could help: the name, the firm, the date, and what was offered.
Where to look next
These pages ask for what you hold. Type the total from step 4 where they ask for savings. If the money is in cash, cash is the number to type.
Your total so far: US$0