A Fall, a Broken Leg and a Spare Room

Where does a man in his nineties go when he is not ready to go home alone?

By Neil Solomon · 2 min read

My father fell and broke his leg. He needed surgery, and after the surgery he needed rehabilitation. When the hospital was finished with him, I had a question to answer. Where does a man in his nineties go when he is not ready to go home alone?

He had lived in New Jersey his whole adult life. We looked at assisted living there. One place quoted between US$12,000 and US$15,000 a month. I did not know yet what that quote included, and I have learned since that it can mean very different things in different buildings.

My wife did not leave it as an open question. She said we would bring him to Mexico, to our house, and we would care for him ourselves. I will say plainly that I was not sure. I had not lived under the same roof with my father since I was a boy. We were not close, and our history had its scars.

So he came. He arrived with a healing leg, and we gave him the spare room. A helper came during the day to watch over him, and he did his rehabilitation at home. When he needed a doctor, the doctor came to the house.

I want to tell you what I noticed. He ate his meals in a house where someone he knew was there every day.

He got better. After that he had a few good years, and I did not expect that.

I cannot prove what would have happened in the other building. I can only say what I believe. I think a man who had never lived outside his own small corner of the world could have faded fast among strangers. I think he might have died sooner. That is a belief, and I hold it loosely.