When Your Body Complains Far From Home
Planning before the scare turns a crisis into a decision.
Picture a couple named Walter and Irene. They have been living abroad for a year and a half, and it has gone well. Then Irene has a toothache that will not stop, and Walter notices a lump he does not like. Suddenly the question is not "Do we like it here?" but "Who do we trust with this?"
I think health scares change how a place feels more than almost anything else. A lovely beach does not help in a waiting room.
Three places, three kinds of worry
Cambodia. One person wrote that it was hard: the heat, a dentist visit, and homesickness all arriving together. She had sold most of what she owned. The home she missed was no longer the home that existed. That detail stays with me. When something hurts and the old life has been given away, there is nowhere to retreat to.
Vietnam. A man in his seventies compared a public hospital with an international one and looked closely at what each would mean for his wallet and his peace of mind. He also looked at insurance quotes, and the way they change as people grow older. His tone was practical. He was reading the choices before he needed them.
Thailand. In the islands, one writer describes a cancer scare and what she came to believe was an unneeded operation. What she felt afterward was distrust. Not of everyone, but of her own ability to judge advice in a language and system she did not know well.
| Cambodia | Vietnam | Thailand islands | |
|---|---|---|---|
| The moment | Dentist, heat, homesick | Insurance and hospital choice | Scare, then surgery doubt |
| The feeling | Lonely | Careful | Distrustful |
| What was missing | A place to fall back on | Nothing, he planned | A second opinion she trusted |
What I make of it
Being a long-term outsider is easy on a good day. It is harder when you are frightened. You want someone to explain things in your own words, and sometimes there is no one.
The Vietnam story gives me the most hope. Planning before the scare turns a crisis into a decision. The Thailand story reminds me that it is wise to ask for another view, even if it feels rude. And the Cambodia story reminds me that the old home is not always waiting.
Walter and Irene sit on their porch after the appointment.
"I kept thinking I should have asked someone I trusted," Irene says.
"Then let's find that someone before we need them again," Walter says.
You could…
- Visit a clinic and a hospital on a healthy day, just to see how it feels.
- Ask other retirees from abroad whom they trust, and why.
- Keep a short written summary of your health history in two languages.
- Agree with your partner on who you would call, at what hour, for what.
Where would you go first if your body asked for help tonight?
Tell us in the comments