Comfortable and a Little Anxious: Growing Old in a Family Village in Brazil

Walter is comfortable, and he is also, if he is honest, a little anxious.

By Neil Solomon · 2 min read

Picture a couple named Walter and Lucia. Walter has retired to the village where Lucia grew up in Brazil. Her family is all around. Her mother, who is very old, lives nearby, and Lucia is the center of the village in a way Walter never was anywhere. People stop her in the street. Relatives come to the door. Walter is comfortable, and he is also, if he is honest, a little anxious.

This is the feeling I notice in stories of this kind. The days are good. The house is welcoming. Then one night he thinks, "What happens when I am the one who needs help?"

I think there are two sides here. The first is the gift. Lucia's family knows how to grow old together. Her mother is not alone, and she is part of the daily life of the village. Walter can see what care looks like when it is carried by people who love you. For a retiree from a country where older people often live apart, that is a lesson worth seeing.

The second side is the question mark. Walter is the visitor in this family. His own language may be slower than theirs. His own family is far away. If Lucia is the heart of the village, what is his place in it when she is busy, or when she is not there? And if one of them falls ill first, how does the other manage?

I do not think these worries mean he chose wrong. I think they mean he is looking ahead, and that is a good habit. Anxiety and comfort can sit in the same chair.

Walter might say to Lucia over coffee:

"Your mother has so many people around her."

"Yes. She always has."

"I wonder who will be around for me."

Lucia takes his hand. "Me. And everyone here knows you now."

That answer may be true, and it is still worth turning into a plan. Who would you call at two in the morning? Who speaks both languages at the doctor's office? Where would a friend stay if they came to help? Naming these things aloud often shrinks the worry.