Months First, Decisions Later
A stay of months shows you the place that is left.
Picture a couple named Walter and Beth. They loved a city on a two-week holiday. Walter wants to sell the house and go. Beth says, "Two weeks is a holiday. I want to know what a wet Tuesday looks like."
I think Beth is asking the right question. A trip shows you a place at its brightest, because everyone on it is on good behaviour. A stay of months shows you the place that is left.
Three people, three tests
| Place | What the person was testing |
|---|---|
| Mexico | Which town, among several, fits a woman on her own |
| Colombia | Whether the first happy weeks last once they become routine |
| Bolivia | Whether the glow fades, and what is underneath |
In Mexico, a woman near retirement, travelling by herself, went looking at towns. I like her approach. She did not pick one and defend it. She compared several, and the comparing taught her what she cared about. Maybe it was walking, or other single women nearby, or nothing in particular until she felt it.
In Colombia, a couple spent months there over several years before committing. They described a quiet contentment that grew slowly. I read it as the benefit of going back more than once. The second visit tells you whether the first was real.
In Bolivia, one person wrote about waiting for the honeymoon to end. I find this the most honest of the three. Almost everyone feels delight in a new place for a while. This person did not trust it yet, and waited to see what came after. Their unease says nothing against Bolivia. It reads to me as a person being careful with a big decision.
At the kitchen table
"It is month three," Beth said. "Do you still like it, or do you like feeling new?"
Walter laughed. "Ask me when the novelty is gone."
"That is why we are staying until it is."
What I take from it
A trial has two jobs. The first is to find out whether you like the place. The second, less obvious, is to find out whether you like yourself there on an ordinary day. Nobody can answer that from a hotel.
The three people tested different things, and I think that is the point. You could be testing a town, or a rhythm, or your own patience. It helps to know which.
You could…
- Decide in advance what you want the trial to answer, and write it on one page.
- Stay long enough to see a bad day, a slow week and a holiday.
- Visit the same place a second time before judging the first.
- Keep your home base until the trial ends, so the choice stays open.
How long did it take you to know whether a place was right?
Tell us in the comments