One Page for the Day You Cannot Speak
Gordon laughed. Then he stopped, because he did not know the answer.
Picture a couple named Gordon, 72, and Maxine, 70. They live in an apartment in a city that is not the one they grew up in. Gordon handles the bank accounts and the taxes. Maxine handles the doctors and the calendar.
One evening Maxine read about the shower test on a website. That night she asked Gordon, "If you fell and could not talk, would I know what to do?"
Gordon laughed. Then he stopped, because he did not know the answer.
"I would find the bank in the phone," Maxine said slowly. "I would not know which one."
"There are three," Gordon said. "Two here and one at home."
They sat at the table with a blank sheet of paper. By the end of the evening they had a page for each of them. They agreed to keep it simple.
| What goes on the page | Why it is there |
|---|---|
| Names and numbers of the doctors, and the medicines we take | Someone speaking to a hospital will be asked |
| Which banks and accounts, and who can sign | The bills keep coming |
| Where the important papers are kept | A will, passports, the lease, insurance |
| Who to call first, and in which language they speak | Neighbors, friends, family, a lawyer |
| How to get into the phone and the computer | Many things are on them now |
| What we would like done if we could not decide | A short note, in our own words |
They put one copy in a folder in the kitchen. They gave a second copy to a neighbor they trusted. They took a photo of each page and sent it to their daughter.
Maxine said afterward, "I felt lighter. I had not known I was carrying it."
Gordon said, "I thought I was protecting you by handling it. I think I was keeping it from you."
You could…
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Write your own page, one section a day.
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Choose one trusted person to hold a copy, and tell them where the second copy is.
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Look at the page again each year on your birthday.
What would you put on the first line of your page? Share it here. Someone reading may start theirs tonight.
Tell us in the comments