Selling the Family House While the Family Is Not Done With It
Then he said, "The kids haven't had their turn yet."
Picture a mother named Edith, 74, and her son Eli, who has two small children. Edith has decided to sell the family house and spend most of the year abroad. The house is paid off. She had thought about it for a long time, and she told Eli on a Sunday over the phone.
Eli was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "The kids haven't had their turn yet."
Edith did not know what he meant. Eli explained. In the hallway, on the frame of the kitchen door, there are pencil marks. Each one has a name and a date. They show how tall Eli and his sister were, year by year, from age two to sixteen. Eli had been planning to start marks for his own children there, next to his.
Edith had walked past that door many times and had stopped seeing it. Now she stood in the hall with the phone against her ear and looked at the marks. She still wanted to sell. She also wanted Eli's children to have their turn.
They sat down together and listed what each person would miss.
| The thing | The feeling it holds |
|---|---|
| Pencil marks on the door frame | Eli's own growing up, and a place to start his children's |
| Sunday dinners in the dining room | Edith's way of keeping the family close |
| The back step | Eli's daughter's favorite place to sit |
The list was short. Most of it could move to a new place.
They chose a weekend in June. Eli's children got their first marks on the frame, beside their father's. Edith asked her agent whether the frame trim could be taken out and kept by the family when the house sold, and the agent said it could be raised with the buyer before the sale. The buyer agreed, and Eli took the trim home.
You could…
- Ask each person in the family the same question: what would you miss?
- Plan one last gathering at the house, with a date.
- Ask an agent or lawyer how to keep a fixture, such as a door frame, out of the sale.
What is one small thing in your family home that someone else would miss more than the house? Write in and tell us the small thing. A reader about to ask their own family the same question could use your example.
Tell us in the comments