Deciding Whether to Stay or Go Home in North America
What if the next move is not to a faraway country but across a border, or onto an island?
Picture a couple named Marcia and Tom. They live in the American Midwest. Every February they say the same thing: "One more winter." This year they are asking a different question. What if the next move is not to a faraway country but across a border, or onto an island?
The moves I read about were close to home in distance but not always in feeling. I find that interesting, because many people assume a nearby place will be easy. The accounts say it can be just as emotional as a long flight.
Four stories, four reasons
A retired couple choosing the mild coast. One couple left the Midwest winters for the West Coast of Canada. They chose Vancouver over Toronto, partly because the climate is gentler. The husband was born in Canada, and the application took them two years. I read this as a story of patience. They wanted the weather and the place, and they were willing to wait.
A woman from Arizona who went home within a week. Another account was shorter and sadder. She arrived in Canada, and things did not work out. She was back home in a week. The paperwork was part of it, though only in passing. What stays with me is the speed of the turn. Sometimes a place is clear to you in days.
People who left Quebec. English speakers who had left Quebec described the move as a loss. Many felt wistful. They had not stopped caring about the place. They had decided that their lives were better elsewhere, and the question of whether they would return stayed open.
A one-way ticket to an island. A person who moved to Hawaii described the thrill of the flight, then the shock of the rent. The excitement was real and so was the number on the lease. I will leave the figures out here, since I was not given them.
How the place changes the question
| Main pull | What surprised people | |
|---|---|---|
| Canada, West Coast | Milder winters | How long the process took |
| Canada, short stay | A fresh start | How fast it ended |
| Canada, Quebec | A home they knew | How strongly they missed it |
| United States, Hawaii | Island life | The cost of a roof |
A moment at the kitchen table
"If it does not work, we come back," Tom might say.
"Back to what, though?" Marcia could answer. "Our house will be someone else's."
That is the question I would ask early. A trial is gentler when there is somewhere to return to.
You could…
- Rent for a season before selling anything.
- Write down what you would return to, and what it would cost to keep that door open.
- Ask people who moved a few years ago what they would do differently.
- Look closely at monthly rent in the exact town, not the region.
If you tried a nearby place and turned back, what taught you the answer?
Tell us in the comments