The Lonely Stretch and How People Got Through It: Turkey and the UAE

The accounts here suggest it can come later, after the excitement fades and the daily routine begins.

By Neil Solomon · 3 min read

Picture a couple named Linda and George. They have moved to a large city with a lot going on. By the second month, George says, "There are millions of people here and I have spoken to six." Linda admits she has felt the same.

Loneliness in a new country is not rare. What I find useful in these three accounts is that each one shows a different kind.

Three kinds of lonely

A quiet city that did not fit. One person wrote that Lisbon felt lonely, and Istanbul called. I read that as a decision to move on when the first choice did not bring connection. It is a reminder that a first city is not always a final one. Trying again somewhere else is a normal part of the story for some people.

A social life that stopped. Another person described being alone in Istanbul as the social life stopped. The feeling was anxious. I think this is the hardest kind, because it follows a time when things were going well. When the usual gatherings disappear, the thin threads of a new network show quickly.

Lonely in a crowd. A person in the UAE wrote about feeling lonely in a crowd and asked whether it would last forever. That question is the one that stays with me. I do not know the answer. The writer did not say. But the fact that they asked tells me the fear is that the feeling is permanent, when it is more often a stage.

How it differs by place

What stands out to me

I think a big city makes loneliness harder to name. In a small town, everyone sees that you are new. In a big city, no one sees. You may need to make yourself visible: the same coffee shop, the same class, the same day each week.

I also think it helps to have more than one circle. If all your friends come from a single group, when it stops, everything stops.

One small scene

George says, "I almost went home last week."

"Almost is something," Linda says. "Let's try the language class on Thursday first."

I would also say something about timing. People often expect the loneliest weeks to come first, at the very start. The accounts here suggest it can come later, after the excitement fades and the daily routine begins. If that happens, it may not mean something has gone wrong. It may simply be the point where the new place stops being a trip and starts being a life, and that change takes some getting used to.