Why Giving a Thing You Already Own Feels Like Giving a New One
Boyd has an old guitar that he played on the porch most evenings for thirty years.
Picture a couple named Boyd and Mabel, 72 and 70. For years Mabel bought a birthday present for their granddaughter Tessa, and she loved every step: choosing it, wrapping it, and watching Tessa open it. Boyd called it Mabel's favorite day of the year.
This spring they are leaving for a long stay in another country. Boyd has an old guitar that he played on the porch most evenings for thirty years. Tessa, 28, had once said she wished she could play. Boyd turned the guitar over in his hands and said, "A guitar like this is not much of a present."
Mabel looked at him. "Why not?" she asked.
Boyd thought about it. He said it had no ribbon, it cost nothing, and it was old. Mabel asked which part of her birthday ritual mattered most to Tessa. Boyd thought about it. "The handing over," he said.
He restrung the guitar, wiped it down and wrote a card. He gave it to Tessa on a Sunday. She held it as if it were glass. "This is the porch guitar," she said.
"It has been waiting for someone who plays," Boyd said.
Tessa strummed one chord, and Boyd felt what he had felt years before, when he handed her a new camera for her graduation.
Afterward he tried to explain it to Mabel. The new camera had given him one thing, the moment of giving. The guitar had given him two. The first was thirty years of evenings on the porch, already enjoyed. The second was that Sunday.
| Kind of gift | New money spent | The use | The giving |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bought new | Yes | Tessa's alone | Choosing, wrapping, watching |
| Something you already used | No | Yours first, then Tessa's | Handing over, telling the story, watching |
You could…
- Choose one thing you used and loved, and picture who would enjoy it next.
- Ask that person if they would like it, and tell them where it has been.
- Take a moment to watch them with it, since that moment may be the second gift.
What did you hand to someone that felt just like giving a present you had bought? Leave your story in the comments. A reader unsure about giving away a guitar could see that it can feel like a gift.
Tell us in the comments