A Family Trip as an Inheritance of Memories
I think they will remember where we were together.
Picture a couple named Arlo, 73, and June, 71. They have two grown children, who live in two different states. Between them the children have four kids. The family has not been in one place for more than a weekend in years.
June said it first, at the kitchen table. "I keep thinking about what the grandchildren will say about us when they are old."
"That we had a nice house," Arlo said.
"I do not think they will remember the house. I think they will remember where we were together."
Arlo thought about his own grandfather. He remembered a smell of pipe tobacco and a porch. He did not remember a single thing the old man owned. He asked June what she had in mind.
She had in mind a week in a rented house near the sea in Portugal, with everyone in it. She and Arlo would pay for it. They would not ask the children to chip in.
They sat down with a pad and wrote out who would come and what had to be settled.
| Who comes | How many |
|---|---|
| Arlo and June | 2 |
| Their two children | 2 |
| The children's spouses | 2 |
| The four grandchildren | 4 |
| Total in the house | 10 |
| What has to be settled | Who asks |
| --- | --- |
| Dates that work for school and jobs | June, by phone |
| A house with enough beds and a table that seats ten | Arlo |
| Passports for everyone, and who needs one renewed | Each parent |
| One easy day with no plan at all | Everyone |
Their son called back the next day. "Dad, are you sure? That is a lot."
"I am sure we have never done it," Arlo said. "I would like to find out what it is like."
The house was a little too small, as rented houses tend to be. The oldest grandchild slept on a sofa and said it was the finest bed of her life. On the third night the power went out, and they ate dinner by candle. Nobody had planned it.
Months later, June asked her youngest grandson what he remembered. He did not mention the sea. "The night with the candles," he said. "Grandpa told the story about the goat."
Arlo had forgotten he had told it.
You could…
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Ask each child what a week together would look like for them, before picking a place.
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Choose a house or a place with room for one slow day.
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Decide up front whether you will pay for all of it, so that nobody has to calculate.
What is the family memory you still carry, and where did it happen? Share it here. Someone reading may be choosing the place for the next one.
Figures are estimates for planning, based on public data. Source: Kiplinger and Morning Consult survey of 5,156 American adults.
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