What "Leaving Something" Could Mean Besides Money
She had been counting the account. The dumplings had not been on the list.
Picture a woman named Hilda, 77. She has a modest savings account and a good deal of time to think about it. One afternoon her granddaughter called to ask how to make the dumplings Hilda brings to every family holiday.
"I never wrote it down," Hilda said. "I just know when the dough feels right."
"Could you show me?" her granddaughter asked.
They set up the phone against a bag of flour. Hilda talked and kneaded. Her granddaughter wrote down "until it feels like an earlobe," and they both laughed. When the call ended, Hilda sat in her kitchen for a while.
She had been asking what she would leave. She had been counting the account. The dumplings had not been on the list.
She made a new list.
| What it is | Who might want it | A first small step |
|---|---|---|
| A letter | A grandchild, to open on a birthday or on a hard day | Write one page about a day she remembers |
| A recipe | Whoever cooks the dish after her | Cook it with them once, and write while they stir |
| A recording | The whole family | Tell one story into a phone, as she would at the table |
| A family place | The one who will visit | Ask who loves the terrace, and what they would change |
The last row took Hilda longest. The terrace had a table her husband built and a lemon tree in a pot. She asked her children, one by one, who would want the table. The answer surprised her. Her son, who rarely mentioned the house, said, "I have eaten at that table my whole life."
This is close to what earlier pieces on this site said about objects. In Three Questions Before You Give Something Away and The Books Went to a Library and a Reader Wrote Back, a thing found its person because someone asked who would use it. A recipe or a table works the same way.
Hilda did not change her will. She is not sure she needs to. She has a conversation planned with her family about the table, and a lawyer who works with Americans abroad could confirm how any bequest of a household object is written where she lives.
Her granddaughter now sends her photos of each batch of dumplings.
You could…
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Write one page to one person, and put it in an envelope with a date.
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Cook one dish with one relative, and write it down while you cook.
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Ask your family who loves the place, and what it would take for them to keep it.
What is the one thing in your life that nobody wrote down yet? Share it here. Someone reading may go and ask.
Tell us in the comments