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Make My Son the Trustee? What Goes Wrong, and What the Cases Show

An Illinois bar article says clients overwhelmingly name family as successor trustees, and that this often works well.

Picture a widow in Arizona with three grown children, as an example. She wants her eldest son to be trustee of the trust she leaves. He is responsible, and he lives nearby. The other two live abroad. She wonders what could go wrong, and whether she is being unfair to anyone by asking.

Start with what the sources say works. An Illinois bar article says clients overwhelmingly name family as successor trustees, and that this often works well. It also says some cases call for a corporate trustee, and it challenges the idea that corporate trustees are always far more expensive.

Four disputes, and what each shows

Situation What happened What it shows
Australia, family trust of about A$5 billion (news report) A billionaire mother, who was trustee, was removed after her children sued in the New South Wales Supreme Court. She stepped down seven days before the removal hearing and was ordered to account for nine years. A child became trustee, not an independent company. Children can ask a court to remove a trustee. A child took the seat afterward.
United States, a sole trustee brother (allegations, 2024 news) Two daughters sued their brother, the sole trustee. They allege he gave himself US$200,700 in gifts and that his company took almost US$2.6 million in commissions while their father had diminished capacity. They want an accounting. No ruling was reported. An allegation is not a finding. It shows a sole family trustee may be asked to account.
United States, Los Angeles County (2026 trade news) A 1993 trust pays half at 30 and the rest at 35. The trustee has refused to release money to the son. The filings show at least US$1.5 million in the trust. A trustee may hold back a distribution under an age-based clause. A petition asks the court to look at it.
United States, Pennsylvania (2013) An appeals court said about six bank mergers over 40 years, a beneficiary's move and worse service were enough to remove a corporate trustee. Corporate trustees can be removed as well.

The first three rows come from news reports (tier U). The second and third are allegations or petitions, not rulings.

What a family trustee costs

J.P. Morgan says a family trustee may look less expensive because they work free. Hiring accountants, lawyers and advisers often makes the total higher. That is a bank's own marketing page, tier C. It suggests naming a corporate trustee and giving a family member power to oversee, remove and replace it.

A magazine for older Americans quotes two advisers. One says to consider a corporate trustee only when there is severe family dysfunction or no qualified person who wants to serve. Another says some clients have fought over an US$8,000 car when they were inheriting US$3 million.

A bank's page notes that a named relative can decline to serve, with no duty to find a replacement, and that picking one child can revive sibling rivalry.

Why trust matters more than the name on the deed

Williams and Preisser reported that 70% of 2,500 families lost control of their assets and family harmony by the third generation. About 60% of those failures came from low trust and poor communication. One other source gives a sample of 3,250 families, with about 25% from heirs' lack of sophistication and under 15% from investment, tax and legal errors. These figures are about families, not about trusts.

You could

You could ask the lawyer how a co-trustee, a protector or a corporate trustee with a family member watching would work in your deed. You could ask who pays the accountants and lawyers a family trustee will need. You could ask all three children what they would want, before the paperwork is signed.

If you have been a trustee for family, or had one, what was the hardest conversation? Share it here. Someone else may be about to have it.

Figures are estimates for planning, based on public data. Date read: October 2026.

Sources

  • Yahoo News report on an Australian family trust removal, 2013 (U)
  • Yahoo News report on a trustee dispute, 2024 (U)
  • SimplyTrust trade news on a Los Angeles trust dispute, 2026 (U)
  • In re McKinney case brief, Pennsylvania Superior Court, 2013 (B)
  • Illinois State Bar Association article, September 2023 (B)
  • J.P. Morgan trust myths article, December 2025 (C)
  • AARP article on choosing an executor or trustee, 2011 (B)
  • Waukesha State Bank estate settlement article (C)
  • WealthManagement.com on the Williams and Preisser study (B)
  • BrokerChooser on the same study (U)

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