The Town You Moved To Is Not the Town You Live In

The person who took it may still be living there, happily, but the place has moved on.

By Neil Solomon · 2 min read

Picture a couple named Walter and June. They moved to Penang in Malaysia many years ago, and they like to tell the story in order: the visa, the deposit, the first flat. It is a good story. It is also a story about a time that has passed.

One American retiree wrote about moving to Penang in 2008, step by step, from visa to deposit. The note that came with it said the rules have since changed. I think that line is the heart of the matter for anyone planning a long stay.

Any account of a move is a photograph. It shows how things stood on one day. The person who took it may still be living there, happily, but the place has moved on. Streets fill with new cafes. Old shops close. Rules about who may stay and on what terms are rewritten. What worked for one person at one time may not work for you.

For people thinking about how long they might stay, this matters. A plan for a year is fairly easy to picture. A plan for fifteen years has to allow for a town that will look different, a community that will turn over and a set of requirements that may not be the ones you started with.

Here is what I notice in the stories of people who stay a long time. They do not hold on to the first picture. They find a way to enjoy the new version, or they accept that the old one is gone and look for their own corner of what remains. Others find it hard. They say the place is no longer the one they chose, and that can be a real grief.

A moment between them.

"Do you remember when this was just a row of old shops?" said June.

"I do," Walter said. "I like the coffee, though."

"So do I. That is the strange part."

I would not read change as a threat. It is simply the condition of staying long. What helps, I think, is to build a life that does not depend on one version of the town. Friendships, habits and interests travel better than a favourite street does.

It also helps to treat any guide as a starting point, including this one. If a story is a few years old, ask what might be different now, and ask someone who is there today.