When a Short Stay Is Enough
Leaving after a long stay can be a good ending too.
Picture a couple named Howard and Lucia. They sold up, bought one-way tickets and told their friends they were gone for good. Six weeks later, in a rented flat by the sea, Lucia said what neither of them wanted to say. "I think I miss the mountains."
Many of us carry a quiet rule that a move must be forever or it was a mistake. I do not think that rule helps. Reading what people write, I see three different kinds of leaving, and none of them looks like failure to me.
Mexico, a beach town. One writer found that a beach town did not hold her. She was restless. The place had its charms, but she could not settle, and in the end she moved on. What stands out to me is how honest that is. She did not blame the town, and she did not blame herself. She found out something about what she needed.
Nicaragua. Another person wrote that a month was enough, and the feeling was relief. I find that interesting. A month is a small price for a clear answer. If he had stayed a year out of pride, the answer would have cost far more. Short stays are a way of asking a place a question before you sign anything long.
Peru. The third story goes the other way. After seven years, a family left, and what the writer felt was nostalgia. An ailing father had come along with them, and I read that as part of the picture: a household that had grown around one person's needs, and then changed. They left with warm feelings and a new label for themselves, people who used to live there. Leaving after a long stay can be a good ending too.
| Place | How long | The feeling on leaving |
|---|---|---|
| Mexico | A short time in a beach town | Restless |
| Nicaragua | One month | Relieved |
| Peru | Seven years | Nostalgic |
Back to Howard and Lucia.
"We told everyone it was forever," said Howard.
"We told them we were trying," said Lucia. "I wrote it in the card."
He took the card out of the drawer. She was right.
They stayed three more months, saw some of the country, and went home with a story instead of an argument. A year later they were planning a different trip, to a place with hills.
I think the real work is deciding what a short stay would teach you, and then listening to the answer, even when it is not the one you hoped for.
You could…
- Rent for a month or two before you sell anything.
- Tell friends you are trying it, and mean it.
- Write down, before you go, what would make you call it enough.
- Keep a way back, such as a room with a relative or a small place to rent.
Have you ever left a place sooner or later than you planned? What did you learn from it?
Tell us in the comments