How People Found Their First Friends in Latin America
Someone was simply the sort of person who says hello first.
Picture a couple named Dale and Irene. They have been in their new town for three weeks. The apartment is set up, the market is learned, and the evenings are very quiet. "We know the baker," said Irene, "and that is all." Dale laughed, but he knew what she meant.
When I read how people found friends abroad, I see that they seldom describe a moment. They describe a route. Someone joined a group. Someone had a landlord who turned into a friend. Someone was simply the sort of person who says hello first.
The routes I notice
A shared project. In one small town in Panama, a couple from California found their circle through a theatre troupe, and a landlady who ended up feeling like family. The common task did the work. Nobody had to make small talk, because there was a script to learn.
Others who are also new. A woman writing about Boquete sums it up for me, in my own words: everyone there is far from somewhere, so everyone is open. When most of the table is new, no one is shut out.
Being the connector. In Uruguay, one person described making friends faster than back in California. As I read it, she was the one who made the introductions, and the town answered. It tells me that the speed of friendship may depend a little on whether you start the first conversation.
Time. A British woman in La Paz has been there for sixteen years and is still surprised by her own life there. I take from that story that curiosity lasts longer than novelty. People who stay do not stop wondering.
Those who came before. In Mexico City, people have written that outsiders lived in the same neighbourhoods long before the recent attention. That matters to me. A newcomer is not the first, and older groups of foreign neighbours may already be there to meet.
How it differs by place
| Place | Route that stands out |
|---|---|
| Panama | Shared activities, a landlady, other newcomers |
| Uruguay | Reaching out first |
| Bolivia | Years, and staying curious |
| Mexico | Neighbourhoods that already have a mix |
A small moment
"We could try the Thursday gathering," said Dale.
"Do we know anyone there?"
"No. That is rather the idea."
You could…
- Look for one group that meets weekly, and go three times before deciding.
- Ask a landlord or neighbour what they enjoy doing.
- Invite one person for coffee, with no plan beyond that.
- Notice whether you enjoy being new, or whether it wears on you.
How did you meet the first friend in a place that was new to you?
Tell us in the comments