I Say I Am Spending My Kids' Inheritance, and I Say It Partly in Jest
I would like to live mine fully, and I would like them to live theirs.
When people ask what I plan to leave my children, I joke that I am spending their inheritance. I say it with a smile. I also mean part of it.
I think each of us gets one life. My children have theirs, and I have mine. I would like to live mine fully, and I would like them to live theirs.
A book I am reading right now, Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, puts that in a way I like. Its starting point is that an eighty-year life is about four thousand weeks. Eighty years sounds like a long time. Four thousand weeks sounds like a number you could count down.
I wondered what the research says about money and the next generation. Here is some of what I found.
| Question | What the sources say |
|---|---|
| Do most heirs spend an inheritance quickly? | A 2026 study of heirs aged 50 and older (Thompson and James, Financial Services Review) found 42% ended with no more net worth at the next survey than before. It also found 43% saved all of it. People who got other windfalls, such as lawsuit or insurance payments, acted almost the same. The study measured net worth, not purchases |
| Do retirees spend too much? | Research on about 2,500 households (Blanchett and Finke) found retirees spent about half of their savings, and most of their guaranteed income |
| What do retirees regret? | In a 2023 survey of 2,404 retirees, the top regret was not saving enough, at 76%. These sources include no survey of regret about spending too little |
| Do many children expect an inheritance? | In one large survey, 42% of adult children did not expect a meaningful one. Two in five families had never talked about it |
| How much care might we need? | The federal government estimates almost 7 in 10 people turning 65 will need some long-term care, for about three years on average |
The care figure matters most to me. I watched what it looked like. A parent's later years can cost real money, and I think a family does well to keep a reserve for that first. What is left after the reserve is the surplus.
I am not suggesting anyone spend everything. I am saying that the money might do more good in a trip with the family, a gift to a child while you can watch them use it, or a year somewhere you have always wanted to see, than it will do sitting in an account.
And I think it helps to ask them. Many parents never do.
You could…
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Estimate a care reserve for each of you, using local prices, and set it aside first.
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Ask your children what they expect, and tell them what you plan.
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Pick one thing you have waited to do, and put a date on it.
What would you do with the weeks you have? Share it here. Someone reading may need the push.
Figures are estimates for planning, based on public data. Sources: Thompson and James, Financial Services Review (2026); Blanchett and Finke retirement spending research; Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies 2023 survey; Kiplinger and Morning Consult survey; Administration for Community Living.
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