The Grandchild Due in March
Now she could not picture the room without it.
Picture a couple named Pauline and Everett, 66 and 68. They have a one-year lease on a small apartment in a coastal town in Portugal. Their flights are for the second week of January. They have talked about this move for six years.
In September their daughter Nadia called to say she was expecting. The baby is due in March.
Pauline cried on the phone from happiness. Afterward she sat down in the yellow rocking chair in the spare room. She had nursed Nadia in that chair, in the winter when she was learning how to be somebody's mother. She had planned to sell it. Now she could not picture the room without it.
Everett was quiet at supper. Then he said, "If we wait a year, I am 69. If the baby is five when we finally go, I am 73." His own father died at 71 and met his grandchildren only a few times. Everett said, "I am afraid that if we wait one year we will wait five."
Pauline put down her fork. "And I am afraid I will be in a kitchen across an ocean, and Nadia will need me, and I will have chosen it."
Neither of them argued.
| If they go in January | If they stay until spring or later |
|---|---|
| The lease starts as planned | The landlord is asked to move the start date |
| They miss the birth and the first weeks | They are in the house when the baby comes |
| Pauline is 66 and Everett is 68 when they leave | Each is a year or more older when they leave |
Pauline called Nadia the next morning. "Honey, we can stay. We can push everything back."
"Mom, do not stay for me."
"Is that what you want?"
There was a long silence on the line. Then Nadia said, "I want you here. I just do not want to be the reason you gave it up."
Pauline held the phone and did not say anything for a while. Then she said, "You would not be the reason. You would be one of the reasons I had to choose."
Nadia laughed and cried at once. "That is worse," she said. "But thank you."
That night Pauline wrote to the landlord and asked whether the lease could begin in May instead of January, and what a later start would cost. She showed Everett only after it was sent. He read it twice and said nothing for a minute. Then he said, "Ask about June as well."
The landlord has not answered yet. They have not decided. The tickets are still booked for January, and the chair is still in the room.
You could…
- Ask the landlord or the owner whether the start date can move, and what that costs. A clear answer is easier to weigh than a guess.
- Ask your daughter or son a plain question, such as "What would help most in the first six weeks?" and listen to the whole answer.
- Choose a real date for going, even a later one, and write it on the calendar. Waiting feels different when it has an end.
- Plan the first trip home from abroad before you leave, so that the distance has a number on it.
If you were Pauline, what would you want your daughter to hear you say first? Write to us below.
Tell us in the comments