Why We Reach for Food, a Drink or a Purchase When Something Feels Off
The habit looks like a reasonable answer to a feeling that has no name.
Picture a couple named Dale, 58, and Marisol, 56. For about a year Dale had felt flat. He slept badly, snapped at small things, and could not name why. Most evenings he opened a second beer. On weekends he ordered gadgets he did not need.
Marisol noticed the boxes before she noticed the mood.
One night she set a box on the table. "What is in this one?"
Dale looked at it for a while. "I don't remember ordering it," he said.
The pattern is common
When people feel bad and cannot say why, many reach for something that changes the feeling for an hour. Food, alcohol and shopping are the usual three. Research on each shows a small to moderate link with low mood or stress:
| Habit | What the research reports |
|---|---|
| Stress eating | A review of 54 studies found a small average effect, with large differences between people |
| Drinking | About 24 percent of adults with a mood disorder used alcohol or drugs to ease symptoms in one large US survey |
| Compulsive buying | About 5 percent of adults in representative samples, with high overlap with mood and anxiety problems |
The habit looks like a reasonable answer to a feeling that has no name.
Where the old voice comes in
Often the habit comes with a sentence. "Have a drink, you earned it." "Treat yourself." "Eat something, you'll feel better." Many of us can hear who said it first.
The sentence may tell the truth about what comforted someone in an earlier time. It does not tell us what is wrong now.
Asking the next question
Dale and Marisol did something simple. They wrote down three things for two weeks: the time Dale reached for the beer or the phone, what he felt just before, and what he was doing. Patterns showed up in days. Most of it came after 6 p.m., when he sat alone after work.
He also made a doctor's appointment. A visit does not mean the problem is medical. It means sleep, thyroid, alcohol and mood can each feel like the others, and a doctor can check the ones that can be checked.
You could…
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Keep a two-week note of what you felt just before you reached.
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Ask a person you trust what they have noticed.
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Book a checkup and tell the doctor how long you have felt this way.
What do you reach for when you feel off? Share it here. Someone reading may be reaching for the same thing.
Sources: Bolton et al. 2009 (NESARC); a 54-study meta-analysis of stress and eating; Maraz et al. 2016 (compulsive buying). Figures are estimates for planning, based on public data.
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